Turning 30 this year, a little bitter sweet. Still single - job is a temporary contract thinking of the next phase is not easy - dating badly.


I try to listen to my soul but all i want to do is to just clear whatever task given from work.

Don't know will i ever be feeling complete with someone who going to love me. I mean - all i wanted is to be loved as much as i love the person or more. With this sie i don't think i will be - happy.

Life - its all about lights camera post and action keyboard warrior.

At this point in my life, i hope that i can get my own house, a permanent job with great scale of opportunity with no Will alike kind of person.

Don't think I'm crazy when I realize Will is a weird person. I don't hate him, he's just not my cup of salad. Therefore i have to dislike. Hating somebody just take a lot of energy out of me. Even Jenn notice he love to plot here and there and in the end same hit "I won't do that its so out of my character" etc. I rest my case, i'm done. Don't need to force myself to make peace with someone who i really lost every single respect for, and trying to stab me from the back... bye.



I wish i'm happy with life and like how i used to always look forward for the morning. If someone deserve to die, that's me. I just - hate myself. Hate everything about myself. I'm glad though that at least going to work its easy now bcs its all about work and less gossip and drama. Glad that i choose Jenn bcs she's so funny. Laughter really boost someone happy meter even for a little bit, it still counts.

If the project that we're handling didn't come together - i don't know what to say. Should i stay or should i just jump off loosing my life.

If a mere human weren't given a brain that's evolving and pretty much civil, i probably am a predator. Staying away from any eyes, alone up in the mountains taking shelter, and most probably hurting myself.

Tired of dating scene. What comes may, at the verge of giving up.